My Movement Journey

What a journey. It wasn’t a long one, but it has been a deep one. I dug so deep into myself to get where I am today. And I must say, I’ve only just begun. There were many factors that kept me from starting an exercise program for myself. Pre-existing cultural ignorance, pre-existing conditions I had, the false notion that becoming strong was not lady like. Habits that didn’t place importance on movement and thoughts that limited me into believing I wasn’t built to be strong physically. It was a hurricane of reasons that befell me every time the thought of going to the gym came to mind. So, what changed? The World changed! Pandemic hit! And it hit hard. All things I used to have control over were taken from me. Emotions flooded in and tears flooded out. I couldn’t see my family, at times I couldn’t leave our tiny apartment, I couldn’t gather with friends, I couldn’t ease their pain and I couldn’t make the world better. All of the restrictions I placed on myself, at that moment, were subconsciously lifted. The world was placing so many restrictions on me, why would I place more restrictions on myself? I started with Friday Zumba classes over Zoom. A beautiful friend of mine, Jules, started hosting them. I didn’t have to worry about what I wore, who was there or if I had to take a slower pace. The music was uplifting and after every single workout I not only burned over 500 calories, the more important thing…. I felt amazing! Liberated!

This was at the height of lockdown. Our gyms were closed. So I started increasing my home workouts per week. Pilates, stretch, cardio. A little bit of everything. I wanted to experiment, see what I liked, what I loved. During this time I was tracking my cycle very closely, so I was also trying to see what my body loved. At times, when I realized my parents were locked in a small apartment and their movement became limited due to the pandemic, I worked out harder some days. Subconsciously for them. As if I was moving my body for the health of us 3. It was a time of deep introspection. I gaged how my own mental, emotional and physical health was being affected by my movement. And what I was seeing, made me believe that I was on the right track. Just in home workouts alone, I lost 10 pounds in the first 3 months of lockdown, but more importantly, after every workout, I felt happy, calm and strong. Things I didn’t always feel regularly and at the same time.

A few months later, the gyms opened up, but we needed to wear masks. How was I going to be excited to workout, if I couldn’t breathe properly? I already had a pre-existing condition of exercise induced asthma. How could I make it work? I started slow. I started at my pace. Not the pace of the person next to me. Or at the pace of the strongest person in the room. But at MY pace. I learned to overcome the fear of shame. I never shamed myself for going at MY pace. I think that was one of the KEY things that has allowed me to get to where I am today. Patience and quiet belief that I was taking this journey at my own speed, and not at anyone else’s. Little did I know that working out with a mask daily, helped me develop my lungs further and made them stronger. With time my asthma didn’t even appear during my workouts. A small reminder that by taking the leap, we open an opportunity to grow, to become stronger and to break barriers we have placed on ourselves. 

I continued to push myself SLOWLY out of my comfort zone. Soon those zones became comfort zones. And I kept pushing out my limits. I ran longer, further, higher. I tried new machines, new HIIT workouts, new techniques, like jump rope and I tried heavier weights. One of my favorite things was having a good solid workout with friends. I think I enjoyed this the most on my journey. Friday outdoor workouts, Tuesday full court basketball with the girls and weekend half court basketball with the guys. It was some of the very BEST times during lockdown in our bubble. All because I kept pushing myself out of my comfort zone. A zone I had set for myself too small. Knowing my strength and pushing my limits was freeing. It was like unlocking the bars to a jail I had created for myself. 

By the summer of 2021, I had lost a total of 30 pounds, gained about 5 in muscle. But above all, I gained a part of me that I didn’t know existed. A part of me that will remain for the rest of my life. The part that grew stronger and happier because she was unafraid to TRY. Movement for me is no longer something I have to make time for. It’s something that is part of my time here on this earth. It helps me mentally, emotionally, physically and physiologically. I always loved the quotes that say “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” “If you don’t make time for your health, You’ll have to make time for your sickness”. “You can grow old, without growing sick.” “Work hard so that your health span will equal your life span.” And so I hope you do take the leap and start your journey. It may be a long and deep one. But, I personally invite you to meet the part of yourself that you don’t even know exists. You’ll be so glad you did. I promise.